CHRISTmas: The Hissy Fit

There have been so many articles and studies done on what birth order does as far as effect the behavior of children.  I was the oldest of seven children.  There was me, my sister, and my brother that my parents had.  After their divorce my dad remarried to a woman with two young children and went on to have two more children with her.  So we were seven children in a blended family and I could go on for days about all of the different dynamics.

Only half of us didn’t have any ‘alternate’ birth orders.  I was the oldest of all of us so that makes me the classic oldest sibling.  And then Tori being the youngest of all of us was the definitive baby of the family.  My sister Rachel was a classic middle child because she was a middle child no matter which house we were at.  My brother Evan was the baby for my mother so he was a youngest sibling in our house, but he was a big brother and middle child of all of us.  My brother Tony was the oldest sibling at his house, but a middle child with all of us.  My sister Maria was the oldest sister at her house, the youngest sister out of her and her brother, but a big sister two the younger two and a middle child all together. Mae was the oldest sibling of my dad and his second wife but she was also a middle child all together.  So, yeah… dynamics galore! 

Fun!

Being a part of such a large family growing up I’ve read a lot of the articles I’ve come across on sibling dynamics and traits based on birth order.  Some are fascinating and others are absolute crap.  With no two people being the same and no two families being the same, that always made sense to me.  Maybe that’s why I’ve been saying for years now to my husband that I was going to write about why Christianity behaves as the youngest sibling.  That’s how my brain works.

Now, I’m not interested in getting into a whole bunch of accurate dates and time frames, nor am I interested in getting into a religious debate.  I have a lot of Christian friends and I have no issue with the vast majority.  They are well aware I’m a Heathen and they love me anyhow, just as I love them anyways.  I still go to church when there are family events that occur there such as baptisms, weddings, funerals, etc.  Just as some of them even showed up for the hand-fasting my husband and I had.  As long as you don’t try to convert me and you respect my beliefs, I will do the same for you.  That’s an across the board statement.

And I also don’t play that game of, “I’ll respect you if you respect me” type crap.  Respect is given freely until I have been given a reason not to.  My grandfather was one of the most amazing men I ever had the privilege to meet.  He was a huge role model for me and he had a large family of six children, a dozen grandchildren and numerous great grandchildren.  He was a devout Catholic and went to church every morning for years and years.  His Priest, Father Crowley, was one of his best friends.  He didn’t marry a Catholic woman and he caught some crap from his family for that.  With all of his children, all of us grandchildren, and anyone he ever met he always said the same thing when the topic came up.  “I don’t care what religion you are, what matters to me is that you’re a good person.” And that was all there was to it.  That was just one of the many great things about him but it’s something I carry with me. 

I’m not writing this to bash Christianity or any person in particular.  So, if you’re reading this just to get your panties in a bunch about another made up war on Christianity, please stop reading now. 

Still here? 

Great!

Let’s continue, shall we?

If we take a look at some of the largest ‘umbrella’ religions we come up with a few.

Paganism

Judaism

Hinduism

Buddhism

Islam

Christianity

I’m well aware there are plenty more.  There are folk religions, Shinto, Taoism, Sikhism, etc, etc, etc.  If I wanted to write this about the history of religion I might include all of those but that isn’t my goal here so I’m not doing that.  If I left your religion out I apologize, sort of.  I don’t have all day to write out every sub-genre or spiritual faith in existence. Sorry.

Let’s try to stay on topic here (barring the occasional ramble, it happens)

Okay, now before we continue further, know that I live in the States.  I know that different places have different issues.  I’m not stupid.  However, here in the states we get all sorts of excitement this time of year about the alleged “War on Christmas.”

EVERY YEAR IT MAKES ME INSANE!!!  >.<

Because, you see, nobody is trying to take the Christ out of Christmas.  The only thing people are trying to do is exercise their right to practice and celebrate their religions, too.

You don’t see Pagans screaming, “Stop trying to take the Yule out of Yuletide!”

I mean, you sort of do, but it’s almost always said as a joke in response to the ‘taking the Christ out of Christmas’ posts.

For as long as most of us can probably remember we grew up seeing holiday decorations in stores.  I knew from a young age that the Christian faith didn’t fit me very well.  I was too young to have found anything else that called to me yet but I still remember loving all of the lights and trees.  Never once was I offended by the sight of a manger or a Menorah or any other such thing.  Just because I saw something that represented the holiday of another faith, that didn’t affect me in any way.  I don’t see how it could?  I thought it was beautiful.  I don’t have to practice the faith to appreciate the beauty of the celebration.

Honestly, if seeing someone else practice their faith or celebrate their holiday offends you, that says way more about you than it does them.

If someone says, “Merry Christmas” to me I certainly don’t freak out like some people now see to think they have a right to do.  I say it back because I hope they have a wonderful Christmas.  I wouldn’t wish them a Happy Yule because they aren’t celebrating Yule, they are celebrating Christmas.  Them celebrating Christmas and me wishing them a Merry Christmas doesn’t make me a Christian, it makes me someone who hopes they have a nice holiday.  And that saying goes across the board as well.  Wish me a “Merry Christmas” or a “Happy Hanukkah” or a great Kwanzaa or a Happy Yule or a Happy Holidays and I’ll take it all the same way.  I don’t care what words you use or what holiday you are celebrating.  That is something where the thought is what matters. 

And here’s where we get to the meat of it. 

How Christianity is the youngest sibling. 

Let’s start with the older ones, shall we?

Pagan is a rather old “religion” if you need to refer to it as a religion.  I’ve found it’s more of spirituality and I prefer that one, but like I tell my kids “a preference never guarantees you get your way and to expect such makes you naïve, not the other person thoughtless.”

Anywho, Paganism can be argued as the oldest of religions since it was around before there was any type of organized religion.  The worship of nature itself, the magic of the unknown, and the worship of deity as giving us that which cannot be otherwise explained. I’m not here to give you a lesson on Paganism but there have been many Goddess like carvings and cave paintings and such because before we had modern science and knew that sex with sperm and egg combining created children, they likely just thought women were magic at creating life.  So that makes sense.  You don’t have to follow that spiritual path to understand the primitive logic there.

Pagans in general (in my experience) don’t seem to care much what the other religions are doing unless it directly affects them.  If you want to bring up the Witch hunts, there are some Witches that are going to feel a certain way about it because that is something that happened, was historically documented, and with the amount of extremist radicals around anymore, could also happen again.  I don’t know a whole lot of Jews that get all butthurt about what religions other people practice either unless it directly affects them.  But you mention the Holocaust and they’re going to feel a certain way.  There is something that will cause each religion to get defensive or feel a certain way about.  Something personal that has to do with their beliefs.  Their hot button.  Don’t push it and then you have a total ‘live and let live’ mentality.   (It’s not that hard, folks)  And most of the time even if you push it you’re more likely to get a history lesson than an argument.

There’s this quote I adore by Bill Nye.  “Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.”  I tell this to my kids all the time when they’re acting like they know more than someone else.  They might, but it’s unlikely given that they’re still rather young.  I tell them all the time that if you act like a know-it-all all you do is piss people off and make them get defensive or worse, make them feel stupid.  That is not the right way at all to treat people.  If you know something that they do not, teach them.  You just might make a new friend.  And if they know something that you don’t, don’t pretend that you know it already just to not feel stupid.  Ask them to teach you and they will more than likely be happy to explain it to you.  Then you have either learned something new or taught someone else something new.  If more people did this, geesh, I can’t even speculate.  It sure would be a lot nicer to talk to people though. 

The same goes for religion.  If you need to put down someone else’s beliefs as silly or stupid just to make you feel better about your own beliefs, then you’re doing it wrong.  Again, that says a lot more about you than it does them. 

You can claim that some Pagan faiths are “new age” and therefore a newer ‘religion’ than Christianity all you want.  While Wicca is definitely more new age, the Paganism umbrella it falls under is anything but.  Even the new age ones are following beliefs that have been around for an incredibly long time.  Too long to measure. 

They are not the baby here, at least not in my story. 

So I’m going to consider Paganism as the oldest child.  You don’t have to agree.  This is my article, not yours.  I’m going to say it’s the big sister given how matriarchal many of them are and how much Goddess worship is involved in many (even if only to refer to “Mother” Earth for the non-deity worshipping Pagan faiths)

Older children tend to be more responsible and less assuming.

I know many Pagans who are perfectly comfortable in their faith.  They do not proselytize because they don’t see the point.  If someone asks them about their faith, however, they’re more than happy to discuss it and have a nice chat. 

They tend to be more responsible about their practice of faiths, more emotionally aware of themselves, more socially aware, environmentally aware, etc.

Responsible.

They had to set the example but they don’t need to prove themselves.

Jesus was a Jew.  We all know this.  It’s in all the stories.  It’s rather common knowledge. So I expect zero arguments that Judaism was around earlier than Christianity. 

I also expect the same (zero) amount of arguments about any of the other above mentioned major religions having any sort of valid argument to whether those faiths existed prior to Christianity. 

We’ll refer to those as the middle children.  They tend to be more easy going. 

They are aware that other spiritual paths existed before them but they don’t allow that to concern them.  They are aware the other paths exist and they’re okay with that.  You leave them alone to do their own thing and they’re cool with that. 

“You do you, I’ll do me.  Whatevs.”

While the middle children can often be attention seeking it’s not in the direct “spoiled” way of the baby.  It’s in a more muted way where they’re more likely to just go off on their own rather than stay where they are not appreciated.  Find their own clan, so to speak.

You don’t find any proselytizing from them either. 

Now, I’m aware that there are people from ALL spiritual paths that will attempt, on occasion, to tell you about why their religion is better or try to convert you.

I’m speaking about the majority here.

They are the middle children; they are more adaptable and more likely to do their own thing without worrying about what you think of them or worrying about what you’re doing.

And then we have Christianity.

The little brother.

I’m choosing brother simply because it’s a very inarguably patriarchal religion.  If you have a vagina you are here to listen and obey and wear dresses and look pretty and get in the kitchen and make me a damn sammich.  Be pregnant while you’re at it, pop out those babies and put that vagina to work!

Totally kidding. 

Or am I?  (I totally am)

The youngest sibling, the baby of the family, tends to get doted on.  Oh, look how cute.  Oh, look at what they’re doing!  Oh, blah blah blah blah.  Whatever they can do to get some attention, they’re more than happy to do it. 

But now, the youngest sibling can vary.  If it’s an especially large family the youngest will just be used to the attention going elsewhere and keep to themselves, which I’ve found many of the sub-genres of Christianity will behave like.  I’m not naming names but you know who you are.  Keep up the good work, you’re doing it right.  

But then there’s the baby of the family, “Look at me! Look at me!”  I can do it too!!! 

Anything you can do, I can do better.  (feel free to sing along)

They want to be as popular as their older siblings but they’re extremely immature.

“If they can do that, why can’t I?  I’ll show them!” type shit.

Well, they have attempted to emulate their older siblings in SO many ways.

I mean, really, just about every holiday they have can be argued as stolen.

Christ wasn’t born at Christmas yet for some reason they celebrate it then.  They didn’t want the older siblings to have their holiday there without them so they just made his birthday at the end of December right around all of the older siblings’ holidays.

It doesn’t matter that since it has been proven as to have not been the month of his birth, or even the correct season.  They don’t care.  That’s when it is and that’s all there is to it.

Nuh uh

Ya huh!

Nuh uh

Ya huh.

Fine, whatever.  Think what you what.

I will!  We celebrate his birthday in December and you can’t stop us!

We don’t care, go ahead.

See what I mean?

I can go through every single holiday and do this but I don’t wanna and you can’t make me. :P

And then, when the youngest child does not get their way or things don’t turn out as planned, rather than admitting they were wrong and moving on.  They dig their heels in even if there is proof that they are wrong and refuse to admit it.  Or they pitch a hissy fit like a 2 year old who didn’t get their way. 

The oldest child is always irritated by the youngest child’s annoying tendencies.  It’s ingrained in our DNA.  Just roll your eyes and walk away because as every parent and oldest child knows… you do not give attention to a toddler throwing a hissy fit.  You do not feed it ANY attention or it just gets worse and grows.  You walk away and they learn that they do not get attention from behaving poorly and pitching a fit.

Now, there’s also this other saying that I like. (I like a lot of sayings and whatnot)

“The squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

So while the older siblings ignore the outbursts of the baby, they are not squeaking.

The baby is squeaking.  Like a child in a grocery store pitching a fit.  The parent knows they have to ignore it so it doesn’t continue at every store forever.  But the other people at the store look and think, “Oh, that poor baby.  What an uncaring mother just ignoring it.”

OR

And that’s a big or.

Or, they think, “God, shut that kid up.  That’s SO annoying. Make them leave.”

How does this tie in with Christianity? 

I’m getting there.

Bear with me.

So, the media completely makes up this “war on Christmas.”

Really?

It’s a “war” on Christmas?

From who?  That is what I would like to know.

Who is the aggressor in this war?

Who is attacking Christianity?

The people who want to uphold this country’s constitutional right to freedom of religion?

You see, because that is not a valid argument to any of the things I have read about.

It’s bad if someone tries to remove a religious anything from government property, even though based on the constitution it should never have been there in the first place

It is made up. 

Youngest children always make up stories to get attention and everyone else just rolls their eyes. 

Now I see memes with things like “Christmas Trees for Sale $10,  Holiday Trees $15”

Like… seriously?  Decorating trees is a pagan custom.  You don’t see anyone bitching at you for having stolen the idea and calling them Christmas trees, do you?  So why do you feel you can not only steal the idea but then refuse to let the founders of the custom still keep their own?  Like… c’mon now.   That doesn’t make sense.

There isn’t a “War on Christmas” there’s just a bunch of people using that as an excuse to be dickheads.

You took the holidays of many other religions, made them your own, and then bitch at the religions you stole it from for still wanting to celebrate their holidays.
Nobody is trying to take your Christmas or take your Christ out of it.

All they are trying to do is continue to be able to celebrate their own holiday.

You are the ones who are trying to act as though your way is the only way.

Just like a little kid.

So what happens next in complete youngest child fashion?

A hissy fit is thrown.

“Look at my, CHRISTmas tree.”  Ummm… no thank you.  The minute someone says CHRISTmas… I stop listening.  It’s nothing more than a demand for attention and for the focus to be on THEIR holiday. 

Over a holiday greeting said with good intention and love.

Over the stupid ass color of a cup that they were served coffee in.

Over what you call a tree.

Boo fucking hoo.

This is every damn year.  And guess what? 

Nobody else cares.

None of your older sisters or brothers give a shit about you throwing another hissy fit this year because you’re making up this entire attack on yourself that never happened.

This is every year now. 

Every year nobody cares except you.

Every year everyone else still continues to do their own thing and ignore you.

You just get louder and make less sense and now nobody is taking you seriously anymore.

You just want to have your way and make sure nobody else gets their own.

Freedom of religion includes ALL religions.

This is NOT a nation founded on Christian principles.  Quite the opposite.

It was founded by people who never wanted one religion to take over the others.

Who never wanted to see the word “God” in the government at all.

Not on their buildings, not on their currency, not in their national pledge.

None of it.

Learn your history.

And while you do so, your older siblings will continue to do their own thing while they wait for you to figure out what the hell you’re doing.

And when you finally figure out they’ll have enough grace not to rub it in your face that you were a complete asshole and scream “I told you so” in your face.

They’ll just be grateful that you finally realized what a dickwad you were acting like.

You are what you hate, little brother.

You have become that which you despise the most and yet you do not seem to notice it.

You are attacking anyone that CHOOSES to say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.”  You don’t want to have your greeting taken from you so somehow that makes you feel that you can try to take it from someone else?

You choose to get all angry at a time of year that is supposed to be about joy, celebration, family, love, and peace.  You are going out of your way to find reasons to be angry and disrespectful instead of just giving all other faiths the same respect you want for your own.

This is hypocrisy at its finest.

Respect someone’s right to wear a Mjolnir, Pentacle, Star of David, etc. just as much as you want your right to wear a cross to be.

Respect someone’s right to say Happy Holidays or Happy Hanukkah just as much as you want to feel free to wish others a Merry Christmas.

Think of someone other than yourself because until then all you’re doing is making yourself look like a ridiculous selfish jerkwad who needs to grow up.

Nobody is going to take you seriously until you start behaving.

Nobody is trying to take your toys away from you.

We just want to play with our own, too.

Pull yourself together, little brother.

Grow up.

We’re waiting.